reading the blog post

in this very moment, let's take a close look at our raw experience of reading the blog post.

by 'raw' i just mean the bare, unfiltered experience of whatever is happening while you read these words. if bodily sensations arise, or if something distracting happens around you, or if audible sounds in the room are taking place, let's just lump it all together and call the whole thing "reading the blog post."

if you have to re-read a sentence for clarification, that's okay. if you break mid-sentence to check your email, or run to the bathroom, or scratch your foot, just notice that experience too is also a part of this complete thing we're calling "reading the blog post."

anything can happen as you read through this...and all of it is completely welcome for the purpose of this experiment.

so, notice the process of reading. notice that as you read each word you vaguely hear some sort of ambiguous, internal voice speaking the words as your eyes scroll through the sentence. perhaps you might notice that you are also very quietly and effortlessly whispering the words with a slight movement of the tongue and lips. if you don't notice this happening, no worries.

as you read through the words you'll also notice a subtle sense of interpretation and internal critique of almost every word. perhaps you feel a sense of agreement with what is being conveyed, or maybe you sense joy, or frustration, or whatever it might be. just take notice of this felt sense of interpretation, and at the same time, remember that the speaking internal voice that is reading along with you has not ceased.

notice that this internal reading voice will not cease through out the rest of "reading the blog post."

now take notice of the visual characteristics of looking at the screen. notice the white light surrounding the thin dark letters. notice the simultaneous perception of peripheral vision even though your awareness is focused on individual letter forms.

take note of any bodily sensations that are arising. notice the steady, perhaps shallow breathing in and out. if you are sitting down, notice the pressure and warmth of being firmly rooted against the chair. notice any sort of pain, discomfort, or even pleasurable sensations occurring in the body. notice any slight movements of of your arms, fingers, or legs.

notice how everything described so far is seamlessly happening without any real effort on your part.

notice how everything is happening simultaneously.

notice how everything being talked about is a conceptual overlay of the actual, raw experience. notice that this conceptual overlay is also apart of the experience of "reading the blog post."

notice how these words cannot fully grasp the complete totality of your current experience. no matter how descriptive or poetic they might be, notice how any thought, word, or description about "reading the blog post" falls short of this actual, subjective experience.

notice that the content of these words could change into absurd notions of irrelevance and yet "reading the blog post" would still be taking place.

notice the conceptual ideas and labels you currently carry alongside this raw experience. notice your full name, age, gender and physical attributes you carry. notice the time of day and try to recall what day of the week it is. notice the year and conceptualize what the weather is like outside. notice the name of the city, state and country you are in. notice the name of this place we call earth. notice the solar system, galaxy, and universe that all of this is contained within.

notice how none of these conceptual ideas could possibly take away from this experience called "reading the blog post." notice how they are all inherently welcome. in fact, notice how they are all inherently apart of this current experience whether they are welcome or not.

notice any sense of past that is presently here. maybe there is a vague recollection of fear, remorse, peace, boredom, depression, satisfaction, etc that is somehow here with you from the past. notice any sort of anticipation of the future. maybe you're about to get off work, or go on vacation, or maybe you're subtly scared about some indescribable, immanent threat to your well being.

notice how all of this is in someway occurring within "reading the blog post."

notice that you cannot find whatever it is that is interpreting this wide array of phenomena. notice that any conceptual thing you do find here is in someway being noticed by something that is more fundamental and raw. perhaps you call this noticing presence 'I' or 'me'. notice that the words 'I' and 'me' are a conceptual overlay of this direct, raw essence.

notice how all these thoughts and ideas are completely transparent and silent.

notice how this experience is just one seamless, stable movement.

notice how this experience is completely alive and full.

notice that nothing is lacking for this experience to take place.

notice that "reading the blog post" is abundantly living, without effort or personal will power.

notice that you are completely inseparable from the totality of this experience.

you = "reading the blog post"

you = everything

you are this.

notice that this essence of experience is going on all the time. at work, at play, in deep sleep, in times of boredom, frustration, anger, bliss, mundane interactions, deep conversations, etc.

remove the label "reading the blog post," and you are left right smack in the middle of raw, unfiltered life.

in fact keep the label, and you are still right there with it.

notice again that all these thoughts and ideas are completely transparent and silent.

notice how expansive and yet intimate this experience really is.

notice how this is always the case in every moment of life and at all times.

notice how free life is.

notice how you are life.

you are not an object

objective reality will never explain or satisfy our subjective experience.

no matter how advanced our scientific research and technology becomes at explaining the natural world, we will forever remain in subjective reality. our subjective experience cannot be fully explained because any explanation or interpretation of that experience would, by definition, be an object within subjectiveness itself.

no matter how far forward we explore, seek, learn or expand our intellectual understanding of the objective universe, we will never experience any thing that is actually outside of "ourselves". we could fly to the furthest reaches of the galaxy, we could define the innermost workings of the sub-conscious, we could fall madly in love, we could discover alien life, or we could meet God, and we would only arrive right where we began; subjective experience.

this is not to say that objective reality or the scientific/intellectual study of objects has no value. in fact, they are of infinite value!

without the appearance, exploration and understanding of objective phenomena, our subjective experience would be void of any experiential qualities. it would be a non-experience. that is to say, in the absence of objects, our subjective experience is something akin to deep sleep. this non-experience is a collapse of time, space, and the objective universe as we know it. however, from our own direct knowledge, we explicitly understand that life is not always a non-experience. it is most certainly something most of the time--something that is greatly misidentified.

this mis-identification begins with fear of non-experience. in the human condition, we confuse our subjective awareness with an object (usually the body), and in-turn, we become convincingly terrified that all the universe will vanish when this vulnerable, limited human object comes to pass.

all objects come to pass. no object is permanent. therefore all objects are dependent on some sort of preexisting, permanent infrastructure. what could that be? what is the preexisting infrastructure of the entire objective universe? could it be anything other than our own subjective awareness? is this not our direct experience? have you ever experienced anything outside of your own awareness?

if we are completely honest, there is no such thing as an objective experience. the body (or any object for that matter) is nothing more than a passing phenomenon within subjective awareness. there can be no empirical evidence of any object without the simultaneous presence of subjective awareness. they are inseparable. the opposite is also true; there can be no empirical evidence of subjective awareness without the simultaneous presence of an object.

this is all to say that life is one.

however, the human condition at large is deeply spellbound by objective reality. we firmly believe that we are a limited, vulnerable, fleshy little object in a vast, complex system of innumerable objects--most of which are in some way a threat to our short life.

this completely innocent misidentification can begin to be corrected with one honest look towards our direct experience right now: are you within the body, or is the body within you? right now, are you within the world, or is the world within you? were you born? will you die? from your own empirical experience, which is all that you have, have you ever not been? have you ever experienced anything outside of your own awareness?

asking these questions deeply and honestly, will reveal the truth of who you are and who you will always be.

one instant

you were never given more than this instant.

you have but this one particle of time.

you were never handed two moments and asked to sort them out.

show me this past and future you carry, and then remember it is only now.

forever and always this one blessed moment is given you.

it is simply here.

has this moment ever not been here?